Alarming trend in NHL: Animals on ice
Happy New Year! The key to happiness is to learn from our mistakes and anticipate trends so we can be prepared. For instance, clearly the NHL has an alarming trend taking shape after someone threw an actual dead duck on the ice recently when the Anaheim Ducks were playing in San Jose.
Granted, this trend has had a couple of false starts. Seems like some guys have always thrown their hats on the ice to celebrate a hat trick. (Do they get their hats back? I worry about these things.) And Red Wings fans have thrown octopi because nobody worries about cruelty to octopi.
But this dead duck thing is bad. Theres always retaliation and theres always copycats, so what may get thrown onto the ice in 2012? (Put down your Twitter account, PETA, we are not advocating anything here, just speculating.)
Theres an entire zoo in the NHL. Should we fear the tossing of Panthers, Bruins or, yes, Sharks? Granted, sneaking them into the arena might be a challenge, but somebody had no trouble getting a dead duck past security. By the way, I do encourage throwing Penguins. They are nasty animals that are just the right size to peck you in just the wrong places. Trust me on this as I have been scarred by a penguin.
And once a trend begins, it just grows and grows. In other words, 2012 could be a dangerous year for Canadians, Rangers and Senators. (Election years are always deadly for Senators, so theyve got two things to worry about.)
Our literary chefs have something special cooking for the New Years Brunch, but while they are dotting the final Is and crossing the last Ts, here are few more thoughts to chew upon: